people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
