she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
