Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
