this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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