Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
