i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just found puke in my bra..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
