no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
