I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
