I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
