Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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