so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
