In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
