It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
