So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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