But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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