Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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