no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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