Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
