Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
