new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
