One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
