Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's blow job season.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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