Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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