How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
