I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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