She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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