I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
soo... how was my night?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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