we're blogging at a bar
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
