I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
