Please, let me fuck your mom
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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