she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
