hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
