I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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