No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
