Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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