She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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