So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
