Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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