the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
