the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
