the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
