he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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