I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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