Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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