You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
