Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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