He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
