Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize