there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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