hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to make out with him forever
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
