Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize