no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
