I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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