I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
