The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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