i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
