i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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