i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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