hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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