you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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