well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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