Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
