god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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