Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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