Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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