i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
