he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
