How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
