We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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